Smiling From the Wrists Down? Really?

When I first started out as a publicist, back in about 2011, one thing my mentors/bosses would advise their clients to do was "smile from the wrists down." What does this mean? Basically, it means to stay absolutely neutral on social media and elsewhere, no matter how badly you want to comment on world events or in your life or career. Authors were told to just put a smile on their face and hide it all away. Back in 2011, I think many people were privileged enough where social problems were not at their doorstep or all over their media stream like they are today--though a great many people did not have that privilege. But my question is, was it ever realistic, healthy, or desirable to do this, even in the so-called "good times?" This is what I will tackle in this post.

In the earliest years of the 2000s, social media was brand new. Everyone was trying to figure out the best way to use it, and authors and creatives realized it was a great way to connect with readers. But what did those readers want to see? The consensus among publishers and executives--which trickled down to others--was that readers wanted a sanitary, happy, escapist experience. People read books to escape, right? Wouldn't they want their social media experience to be the same? So a lot of publicists told their authors to basically create a second type of fiction on their social media. A fantasy life where nothing is wrong in both life or the world.

OK, so what's the problem with this? Well, for one, it is a really privileged viewpoint. Maybe some demographics could easily just pretend everything was peachy, but events in life and the world sure as heck had an impact on everyone else's lives, in ways that couldn't be hidden with rose-colored glasses. How privileged was it to "smile from the wrists down" when other people's worlds were on fire? And how dare someone tell a marginalized author to smile and wave on social media like nothing is wrong, when there are very real threats to their livelihood and even survival? Were my mentors and bosses serious? Was this the best way?

When you think about it, authors, no matter what their demographics, have a unique privilege in that they have a voice (and of course, the amount of voice they have will often depend on demographics, but for the sake of argument, we'll just talk about authors in general). Authors can use their voices in powerful ways--like making a reader believe for a few hours that dragons exist, or that love conquers all. But you as an author also have followings on social media, where you aren't creating fiction, but talking to real people in the real world. You hopefully have readers from all walks of life, all demographics, united by their love of books. And while these followers probably don't follow you for political commentary or social expertise, they do follow you. If something bad is happening in the world, say, violence at a Pride festival, if you only focus on talking about your book, that's kind of gauche. Yet, by following the rule of "smile from the wrists down," should you say nothing at all? That doesn't seem right either, does it?

I invite you to consider how your readers in the targeted demographic of the horrible event might feel if their favorite author, rather than saying nothing, simply posted a message supporting them. Or, perhaps even more than that: a message condemning the violence outright. As long as the message is from the heart, those people who were hurt will appreciate it.

But what about the part of your audience who wasn't hurt? What about the part of your audience who might have been actively for whatever happened? Won't you alienate those readers? That was the logic behind the whole "smile from the wrists down." It was so that authors wouldn't hurt the feelings of readers who didn't agree with them.

Look, I know that as authors, we are always struggling to sell books. It's rough out there. But if your books are well-written, they contain pieces of you in them, even subconsciously. By reading your books, your audience has already gotten to know you. People who read my work won't be surprised to find out that I have lots of pride, that I hate bigots, and I think colonialism sucks. The people who disagree with me about these things aren't my readers. Those people trolling you on social media for your posts supporting peace and love are not buying your books. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to be known as an author that bigots line up to read. I want my readers to feel safe and comforted, and I don't want my marginalized readers to be subjected to nasty comments on my social media. I don't think I would ever be upset if a bigot doesn't follow me, but it would mean the world to me to hear that marginalized people feel safe following me. That's my bright line, and I suggest that as an author, you find yours. I have no qualms about blocking people from my page when they don't follow the rules. But I know my rules, my limits. They are things I put a lot of thought into.

So, no. I don't suggest that everything you post be happy and rose-tinted. The world is messy. We as readers and authors are messy. And we need to support each other as best we can. Humans are social creatures. We are meant to help each other. Does that mean some people might get mad? Maybe. But you can't make everyone happy. Queer authors make people mad just by existing. Should they give in to hate and crawl into a hole to make bigots happy? Hell no.

Not smiling from your wrists down isn't just to support readers. It can also help you as an author sometimes. There are people out there who give the advice that authors should never talk about their personal lives or selves on social media. Yet I have the example of one of my favorite authors in the late 90s who wrote two books of a series and was contracted for the third. The third book was on Amazon with a release date that kept slipping, and slipping...in fact, to this day, if you search the title, it's still there twenty years later. Readers were angry, livid. It was an awesome series and the second book ended on a cliffhanger. The comments on the listing on Amazon are nasty. No one knew what was going on, and everyone just assumed the author just moved on and didn't care. Well, finally, years later, the author did an interview and it came out that while she had been working on this book, her mother died, she herself had been in a bad car accident and had injuries, she struggled with mental health issues because of this...all things that readers (decent ones, anyway) could be understanding about. But, because she didn't want to burden people or look negative, she didn't say anything. After she confessed, though, there was a huge outpouring of support and understanding. Her readers wanted to comfort her. Readers know authors are human (most readers, anyway). Talking about when you have a hard time helps them remember it.

Of course, no one likes reading sad or angry stuff all the time. And this is where a modified version of "smile from the wrists down" comes in. If something happens that affects your readers, say, a childhood favorite author comes out as a super anti-trans bigot, you don't have to attack her (though you could, as well). Instead, focus on a more positive message of support to trans readers. Take a stand and don't stay neutral, but show how you support marginalized people. Share the work of other authors who support them. Check in with your readers and let them know you are thinking of them. Make a donation and encourage others to do so. Normalize kindness, acceptance, and inclusion. You can keep your message positive, but have firm beliefs.

There is a saying the "neutrality is the side of the oppressor," and over the years I've learned how true it is. If bigots don't know people are against them, they think they are right. If people with mental health issues think they are alone, their depression wins. Neutrality is an illusion. Smiling so you don't upset mean people just encourages them. So, no. Don't feel the need to stay positive or neutral on social media all the time. Readers who feel supported are often the most loyal readers of all.

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Write Your Own Posts!

People ask questions before they decide to hire me as a publicist--and rightly so! You should always ask anyone you want to hire a lot of questions to make sure you are getting what you want. One question I get now and then is, if I arrange for an author to have a blog tour, do I write the blog posts, too? My answer is always no. And if there is a follow-up, "WILL you write my posts for me?" My answer is also, always, no.

If I write a blog post for someone else, no matter how hard I try, that post will have elements of my voice in it. It will have my beliefs in it, my ideas. It wouldn't reflect YOUR voice. It won't match your style, or any of the things your readers are coming to you for. Blog tours are supposed to help people find your new book and tempt them to read it. If someone reads a blog post that I as a publicist wrote, and then they pick up your book to read because of it, they might feel betrayed by the differences they see. That's because an author has an invisible contract with a reader. There is an element of trust involved, that the author will provide something the reader expects of them. This is one of the things that keeps readers coming back to an author time and again. Kristan Higgins makes me laugh and cry, sometimes simultaneously. Robin Hobb takes me on an emotional journey every bit as harrowing as the journeys her characters take. Cressida Cowell will crack me up for days and make me feel like I am a viking boy. Kelly Barnhill's books will magically suck me in and hold me by the heart until I finish. A well-written and thoughtful blog post will reflect these same aspects, and often the author doesn't even have to think about it. It's just part of who they are.

No one can tell a story like you do. No one else in the world. That's why readers pick up YOUR books. Not someone else's. You owe them honesty, at least. If you don't have the time to write blog posts, that is fine. You don't have to write blog posts. There are some other things you can do. But don't ask someone else to write them for you, and for the love of any god out there, don't use AI. When I see an article that is written by AI, I automatically assume everything that person does is also AI, even their book. Because why wouldn't they do that if they could get away with it? AI steals from other creators, it takes up resources like water (in Texas, there are towns that are running out of water right now because the AI farms are using so much), and it's just not any fun.

Connecting with readers is rewarding. There is nothing better than to reach someone new and inspire them to read your book. When someone comments on your posts, it forges a connection. Your readers want to know the real you. The person behind their favorite book, not some pretender. It's better to not write posts at all than have someone else do it. What would happen if it came out that you didn't write your posts? Imagine how bad, how embarrassing that would feel. And just like with AI, people would wonder how far it goes. Do you actually write your own book? You don't want to break that trust with your readers.

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Publicity vs Marketing: What's What?

Many of you may know that I had a career as an author publicist several years ago, and honestly? Sometimes I miss it. I found it to be really rewarding to help people find new-to-them authors and books, and to connect authors to new readers. One question I used to get all the time was, "What's the difference between publicity and marketing?" Well, today I'm going to tell you!

When I hear authors say, "Ugh, I hate marketing my book!" often they really mean they hate doing publicity. Publicity is anything you do to draw attention to your work. Posting on social media, doing YouTube videos, writing blog posts, press releases, interviews, book signings, convention and event appearances, reviews... all of that and more is publicity. Publicity can be thought of as "earned attention," meaning that you are doing stuff to get attention for your work. You are writing a blog post, you are posting on Facebook or TikTok, you sent your book out for reviews, and you're talking about your book using your elevator pitch. It's work that you put in to spread the word about your book. But, it's also things other people do as well, like reviewers and people talking about your book.

Publicity can be consider PART of marketing. But marketing encompasses a whole lot more, and can be a bit more complicated--and expensive. Marketing can be summed up in the briefest terms as the stuff you pay for to promote your book. Advertising is the most common form of marketing. When you pay BookBub, Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook, and other places to feature your book in some way, that is marketing. When you pay a bookseller to put your book on an endcap, that's marketing. Goodreads giveaways and creating swag to give away at events also counts as marketing rather than publicity. Building your social media presence is marketing, as is creating an effective website. Getting your book into book clubs, and creating partnerships for merchandise is also marketing.

Marketing involves numbers and knowledge about SEO, keywords, metadata. Having an understanding of statistics really helps in marketing. You want to know what keywords will attract your audience. You want to know how to balance keeping your existing readers happy while attracting new readers at the same time. And you definitely want to make sure you are creating the most effective advertising you can so you get the biggest bang for your buck. No one wants to pay good money for an ad that isn't going to work.

Now, there is some overlap between the two, and some things--for example, social media--can fall into both categories. Growing your social media following and creating a posting strategy to accomplish your goals is often considered marketing, while the content of the posts you write could be considered publicity. With the amount of overlap, sometimes it's hard to tell what it is you are doing. Is it publicity? Or is it marketing? You'll find that experts often don't even agree, so don't sweat it too much. The important thing is that you (and your team, if you have one) are doing the best things possible to spread the word about you and your book.

Like what you read here and want to support this page to help keep it going? Check out my Patreon, where members get exclusive content and early access to articles and videos. Or, for a one-time contribution, you can go to my Ko-fi page. I truly appreciate your support.